Catching up!

Lot's of haikus have gone un-posted. Please enjoy!

Let passion be strong
Make your private part solid
Potion of lechers

User anne Alert
ATTENTION MY PHONE NUMBER
Resolve the problem

We will call you back
Turn'd to tower'd Camelot
Crap, I can't call you

(That one is one of my favorites!)

Choose the needed field
Business proposal, call me
Junior J. Swasey

But you - do not tell
Your happiness is now free
But my life is just

(Another favorite!)

NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU
was astonished whenever
Just a reminder ...

One of the greatest
Huge Bargain with Dish Network
believe business seems

URGENT ASSISTANCE
Outreach for America
For more joyous nights

And finally:

Open positions
BUSINESS CONSIDERATION
RE: Letter to you

A self-help haiku

Change your life today
I will be glad to answer
Get yourself in shape

Excite your pistol, test your knowledge

The spam gods were good to me today:

GOOD DAY SIR/MADAM
Enlarge your male dignity
Excite your pistol

And here's another, more nonsensical one:

Test your sports knowledge
do not regret on the past
I get is the theft

Worth the wait!

I'm back after a few days off the blog. I hope this one is worth the wait:

Very-very Magic Stick
Firminator for your rod
I'm a free woman

See if you can guess the theme

Nothing heals better
Online site for Viagra
Love her the right way

Also, here's a new sonnet:

Endless diamonds on your replica watch
You need the money more than the Time-Share
Make your male friend your biggest advantage
Extremely Low Prices On Good Software

Protect Your Family and Your Income
Email Handling Opinion Needed
Don't be flaccid at the critical time
Always be ready to perform in bed

Disappointed with your sexual health?
Conditions of our collaboration
Viagra to your doorstep every month
You've received an answer to your question

Make every night a night to remember
Hardness determines sexual pleasure


What would Shakespeare think?

The spam gods were indeed kind today

How to work safely
As I'm the smartest ass here:
Choose the needed field

I couldn't believe my good fortune when I saw the middle line!

Questions and bequests

ask you a question
Can u help me keep up this?
Your compensation

MY FINAL BEQUEST
For frequent "getting busy"
Best Christmas coupon

What's the agent's phone
Is this what she REALLY wants
Price chopper watches

Communications and love life -- two haikus

Greetings from Hong Kong
Start your email-marketing
Recall her senses

Choose the needed field
Spice up your love life today
Last longer for free

The only thing missing from my usual spam buffet of topics is replica watches.

A new sonnet!

Notice of Underreported Income
Get 250 Business Cards, on us
Worldwide delivery instantly to your home
The Right Way to Promote Your Business

Say goodbye to Erectile Dysfunction
Get your diploma immediately
Silly embarrassing situation
Viagra and Cialis for free

Your First Issue of The Penny Wiser
88% Off Supercharge Her Life
The amazing stud and rhinestone setter
Top P'll made for Men 87% Off

Wholesale Fashion Watches -87% today
Obtain your ED meds the discreet way

I think this one is better than the first.

Cause and effect

Last longer for free
I shall be pleased very much
Be the stud in bed

We know these pills work
Become a (paid) guinea pig
Term life insurance

Thanks once again to the spam gods for such excellent choices!

My brain hurts

Lockez is a LIE
Sluttily attractive girls
My brain hurts of this

I have to confess, I had to use the line that included the word "sluttily." How often do we get to use such a word?

Schiziodradio and luv-helpers

Yes, the spam gods have been generous!

Schizoidradio
Medications that you need
Nothing heals better!

Luv-helpers for me
I'm looking for my true love
We will call you back

Enjoy some bonus haikus:

Because she wants it
The latest bailout package
Change your life today

Why wasting time here
Energy for hotter love
Now you will earn more.

No wasting time at all, thank you!

MONDAY's HAIKU!!!

It's so exciting!!!

We Offer Loan Services!!!
TO YOU URGENT ATTENTION!!!
- 50% OFF

It's all about communications today

I want to write you
Swedish families revealed
Our mutual friend

A new achievement: Spam Sonnet!

I did it! I have created a spam sonnet. I think Shakespeare would be proud -- and amazed. It has taken weeks to amass 10-syllable subject lines that (sort of) rhyme. Enjoy:

Save $115 on 12 world-class wines
join the club of internet wealthy
Get Your Bachelor's Degree Online
Snuggie TM for Dogs- Buy 1 Get 1 Free

Your decent watch will upgrade your status
Bachelors, Masters or Doctorate degree
56% Off By CheapC'alis
Get that weight off immediately

Hit of the cholesterol lowering
Dont Just Survive Divorce Have Fun with it
Mega Secrets Of Super Sensual Love Making
Look slim and hot thanks to Acai Elite

You could be on top in bedroom again?
BPO Resources Introduction


Not to slight the regular spam haiku from Monday and today. In fact, today's contains a particularly awesome gift from the spam gods:

From Monday:

Give her your manhood!
How to learn speedy typing
Status you received

Med$ 4Free_Samples
A lot of disco+ c'mon
Night races tonight

From today:

Power up main muscle
Automatic butt-wiper
It was good, had fun

Hey, what do you suppose Shakespeare's Twitter name would be? BillTheBard?

Maybe a meteorological theme?

One a rainy Friday, with cooler weather on the way, these two seem appropriate:

Dip your stick deeper
It's cold, don't keep me waiting
Great your universe!

SUSPECT: COMPLIMENT ..............
Best Water on the Planet
I just went online

Career advice?

Contact our office
Get more money for less work
Be our guitarist

Two haikus from spam too good not to use

Do your gf right
New Soprano episode
Nothing heals better

Can you fix PCs
Comp'lete formul+a for men
We will call you back

For me, it is the spelling that is so compelling.

A telecommunications haiku

Today's theme turn out to be telecommunications:

Free TV and more
Museum of Internet
Message informer

I like to think that my haikus are, themselves, little museums of the internet.

Two haikus for a Monday

Amazing offers
win Today, win Tomorrow
Know accountant's mail?

Your caplet - your force
Where Obama bullshit us
Sound illusions! New!

I think this marks the first time Obama has made an appearance in the Spam Filter Haiku!

Healthcare spam

Term life NO Exam
Infection attacks! Fight back!
A couple pictures

What will the mystery shopper find?

She'll love the new growth
Mystery Shopper needed
Free trial Acai Burn

Plus a bonus -- which makes no sense! (And has wonderful spelling.)

xmas is comming
Get HOT Ringtones for your cell
rekama E-MAIL

Financial advice

Sell your timeshare now
How safe is your family?
Get a required degree

I don't usually plan a theme for the haiku, but more often then not, one emerges from the randomness of the spam.

Important lesson

Samples free of charge
Important lesson. Don't miss
Extend your male might

In the Junk Mail Digest, I only see the subject lines, though sometimes a part of me wishes I could click through and find out why "Don't miss" is such an important lesson. Though, I can imagine that it would be in artillery training, or brain surgery.

Healthcare-themed spam haiku

Key for fast access
Heel-tastic - Buy 1 Get 1
Treats blood pressure right!

Don't let Monday get you down. Have a heel-tastic day.

A bounty of spam from the Junk Mail Digest!

Bump her all the time
Potion for perfect bouncing
Sharpen your love-blade

Nothing heals better
Don't waste time i'm waiting you
You are on youtube

So much good stuff this morning I had to write two haikus!

Sometimes a line is too good not to use

Vegas casino
Sleep peacefully with SnoreEzzz
a legended tomb

I don't really know what the last line means, but I love SnoreEzzz! And, after a poor night's sleep last night, maybe that's what's on my mind. Zzzz.

First sign of the impending holidays

Our casino game
I found different approach
xmas is right here

I love it when the spammers get in the holiday spirit!

Two haikus from the long weekend's spam

Lots of spam to go through after the long weekend. The junk mail doesn't stop for a holiday. Here are two haikus from Saturday's and Sunday's Junk Mail Digests. (One of them is rated PG-13!)

Now you can earn more
Reveal your full male power
Exotic beauties

New cash for old cars
Don't. Read this shocking report
Now you will earn more

The best of the spam -- in one haiku

Today's poem encapsulates the three most common themes in my Junk Mail Digest:

Growt_h siz.e you desire
Know my MSN account?
Cartier watches

Positive affirmation from the spam

The Junk Mail Digest dishes up some "power of positive thinking" this morning.

It's All About You
Don?t be sitting on your butt!
via mail or what?

Cause and effect?

Today's haiku offers a cautionary tale, perhaps ...

Watch our drunk party
Representatives Wanted
FROM THE HOSPITAL

Random goodness

Free Trial Acai Burn
Amazing quit smoking aid
Super wallpaper

Sometimes the Junk Mail Digest offers randomness. Happy September!

Bonus Spam Filter Poetry

I going through the weekend's Junk Mail Digests, I came up with two more haikus that were too good to pass up:

Think it's cool? Or not?
Own your own online pet store!
Timepieces online

FYI: WRITE BACK
You deserve this spa weekend
Russian dating site

A to-do list comes from the junk mail

The randomness of the Junk Mail Digest offers up a kind of to-do list for the last day of August:

Update your account
Satisfy your lover
Try our Trials Today

A timely entry today

Time to check it out
rolex is a lifestyle
you don't have to pay

Yesterday, I googled spam filter poetry. Turns out I'm not the only person you thought of this. I'm both relieved and disappointed.

Random poetry in my Junk Mail Digest

For years it has come into my inbox uninvited. The male enhancement products, the replica watches, the online degrees, the offers of "friendship" and low-cost loans. I began noticing the randomness of the subject lines, and earlier this summer, decided to write haiku from them. Every morning I eagerly peruse my Junk Mail Digest for haiku worthy subject lines. Here's today's entry:

Work with us! Earn more!
Become the talk of the town
Win in Fiesta

I should note that all spelling, punctuation and grammar are original to the spam. As I told someone this morning: I love it when they come pre-punctuated.

I'll post some of my favorites later. See what poetry you can find.